THE WEDDING

IdonotknowwhenIhavebeenbetterpleasedthanatbeinginvitedlastweektobepresentattheweddingofafriendsdaughter.Iliketomakeoneattheseceremonies,whichtousoldpeoplegivebackouryouthinamanner,andrestoreourgayestseason,intheremembranceofourownsuccess,ortheregrets,scarcelylesstender,ofourownyouthfuldisappointments,inthispointofasettlement.OntheseoccasionsIamsuretobeingood-humorforaweekortwoafter,andenjoyareflectedhoney-moon.Beingwithoutafamily,Iamflatteredwiththesetemporaryadoptionsintoafriendsfamily.Ifeelasortofcousinhood,oruncleship,fortheseason.Iaminductedintodegreesofaffinity,and,intheparticipatedsocialitiesofthelittlemunity,Ilaydownforabriefwhilemysolitarybachelorship.Icarrythishumoursofar,thatItakeitunkindlytobeleftout,evenwhenafuneralisgoingoninthehouseofadearfriend.Buttomysubject——

Theunionitselfhadbeenlongsettled,butitscelebrationhadbeenhithertodeferred,toanalmostunreasonablestateofsuspenseinthelovers,bysomeinvincibleprejudiceswhichthebridesfatherhadunhappilycontracteduponthesubjectofthetooearlymarriagesoffemales.Hehasbeenlecturinganytimethesefiveyears——fortothatlengththecourtshiphasbeenprotracted——upontheproprietyofputtingoffthesolemnity,tilltheladyshouldhavepletedherfiveandtwentiethyear.Weallbegantobeafraidthatasuit,whichasyethadabatedofnoneofitsardours,mightatlastbelingeredon,tillpassionhadtimetocool,andlovegooutintheexperiment.Butalittlewheedlingonthepartofhiswife,whowasbynomeansapartytotheseoverstrainednotions,joinedtosomeseriousexpostulationsonthatofhisfriends,who,fromthegrowinginfirmitiesoftheoldgentleman,couldnotpromiseourselvesmanyyearsenjoymentofhispany,andwereanxioustobringmatterstoaconclusionduringhislife-time,atlengthprevailed,andonMondaylastthedaughterofmyoldfriend,Admiral——,havingattainedthewomanlyageofnineteenwasconductedtothechurchbyherpleasantcousinJ——,whotoldsomefewyearsolder.

Beforetheyouthfulpartofmyfemalereadersexpresstheirindignationattheabominablelossoftimeoccasionedtotheloversbythepreposterousnotionsofmyoldfriend,theywilldowelltoconsiderthereluctancewhichafondparentnaturallyfeelsatpartingwithhischild.Tothisunwillingness,Ibelieve,inmostcasesmaybetracedthedifferenceofopiniononthispointbetweenchildandparent,whateverpretencesofinterestorprudencemaybeheldouttocoverit.Thehard-heartednessoffathersisafinethemeforromancewriters,asureandmovingtopic,butistherenotsomethinguntender,tosaynomoreofit,inthehurrywhichabelovedchildissometimesintotearherselffromtheparentalstock,andmitherselftostrangegraftings?Thecaseisheightenedwherethelady,asinthepresentinstance,happenstobeanonlychild.Idonotunderstandthesemattersexperimentally,butIcanmakeashrewdguessatthewoundedprideofaparentupontheseoccasions.Itisnonewobservation,Ibelieve,thataloverinmostcaseshasnorivalsomuchtobefearedasthefather.Certainlythereisajealousyinunparallelsubjects,whichislittlelessheart-rendingthanthepassionwhichwemorestrictlychristenbythatname.Mothersscruplesaremoreeasilygotover,forthisreason,Isuppose,thattheprotectiontransferredtoahusbandislessaderogationandalosstotheirauthoritythantothepaternal.Mothers,besides,haveatremblingforesight,whichpaintstheinconveniences(impossibletobeconceivedinthesamedegreebytheotherparent)ofalifeofforlorncelibacy,whichtherefusalofatolerablematchmayentailupontheirchild.Mothersinstinctisasurerguidehere,thanthecoldreasoningsofafatheronsuchatopic.Tothisinstinctmaybeimputed,andbyitalonemaybeexcused,theunbeseemingartifices,bywhichsomewivespushonthematrimonialprojectsoftheirdaughters,whichthehusband,howeverapproving,shallentertainwithparativeindifference.Alittleshamelessnessonthisheadispardonable.Withthisexplanation,forwardnessbeesagrace,andmaternalimportunityreceivesthenameofavirtue——Buttheparsonstays,whileIpreposterouslyassumehisoffice.Iampreaching,whilethebrideisonthethreshold.

Norletanyofmyfemalereaderssupposethatthesagereflectionswhichhavejustescapedmehavetheobliquesttendencyofapplicationtotheyounglady,who,itwillbeseen,isabouttoventureuponachangeinhercondition,atamatureandpetentage,andnotwithoutthefullestapprobationofallparties.Ionlydeprecateveryhastymarriages.

Ithadbeenfixedthattheceremonyshouldbegonethroughatanearlyhour,togivetimeforalittledejeuneafterwards,towhichaselectpartyoffriendshadbeeninvited.Wewereinchurchalittlebeforetheclockstruckeight.

Nothingcouldbemorejudiciousorgracefulthanthedressofthebride-maids——thethreecharmingMissForesters——onthismorning.Togivethebrideanopportunityofshiningsingly,theyhadehabitedallingreen.Iamillatdescribingfemaleapparel,but,whileshestoodatthealtarinvestmentswhiteandcandidasherthoughts,asacrificialwhiteness,theyassistedinrobes,suchasmightbeeDianasnymphs——Forestersindeed——assuchwhohadnotyetetotheresolutionofputtingoffcoldvirginity.Theseyoungmaids,notbeingsoblestastohaveamotherliving,Iamtold,keepsinglefortheirfatherssake,andlivealtogethersohappywiththeirremainingparent,thattheheartsoftheirloversareeverbrokenwiththeprospect(soinauspicioustotheirhopes)ofsuchuninterruptedandprovokinghome-fort.Gallantgirls!eachavictimworthyofIphigenia!

IdonotknowwhatbusinessIhavetobepresentinsolemnplaces.Icannotdivestmeofanunseasonabledispositiontolevityuponthemostawfuloccasions.Iwasnevercutoutforapublicfunctionary.CeremonyandIhavelongshakenhands,butIcouldnotresisttheimportunitiesoftheyoungladysfather,whosegoutunhappilyconfinedhimathome,toactasparentonthisoccasion,andgiveawaythebride.Somethingludicrousoccurredtomeatthismostseriousofallmoments——asenseofmyunfitnesstohavethedisposal,eveninimagination,ofthesweetyoungcreaturebesideme.IfearIwasbetrayedtosomelightness,fortheawfuleyeoftheparson——andtherectorseyeofSaintMildredsinthePoultryisnotrifleofarebuke——wasuponmeinaninstant,souringmyincipientjesttothetristfulseveritiesofafuneral.

ThiswastheonlymisbehaviorwhichIcanpleadtouponthissolemnoccasion,unlesswhatwasobjectedtomeaftertheceremonybyoneofthehandsomeMissT——s,beaccountedasolecism.Shewaspleasedtosaythatshehadneverseenagentlemanbeforemegiveawayabrideinblack.Nowblackhasbeenmyordinaryapparelsolong——indeedItakeittobethepropercostumeofanauthor——thestagesanctionsit——thattohaveappearedinsomelightercolourwouldhaveraisedmoremirthatmyexpense,thantheanomalyhadcreatedcensure.ButIcouldperceivethatthebridesmother,andsomeelderlyladiespresent(Godblessthem!)wouldhavebeenwellcontent,ifIhadeinanyothercolourthanthat.ButIgotovertheomenbyaluckyapologue,whichIrememberedoutofPilpay,orsomeIndianauthor,ofallthebirdsbeinginvitedtothelinnetswedding,atwhich,whenalltherestcameintheirgayestfeathers,theravenaloneapologisedforhiscloakbecause"hehadnoother."Thistolerablyreconciledtheelders.Butwiththeyoungpeopleallwasmerriment,andshakingsofhands,andcongratulations,andkissingawaythebridestears,andkissingsfromherinreturn,tillayounglady,whoassumedsomeexperienceinthesematters,havingwornthenuptialbandssomefourorfiveweekslongerthanherfriend,rescuedher,archlyobserving,withhalfaneyeuponthebridegroom,thatatthisrateshewouldhave"noneleft."

Myfriendtheadmiralwasinfinewigandbuckleonthisoccasion——astrikingcontrasttohisusualneglectofpersonalappearance.Hedidnotonceshoveuphisborrowedlocks(hiscustomeverathismorningstudies)tobetraythefewgreystragglersofhisownbeneaththem.Heworeanaspectofthoughtfulsatisfaction.Itrembledforthehour,whichatlengthapproached,whenafteraprotractedbreakfastofthreehours——ifstoresofcoldfowls,tongues,hams,botargoes,driedfruits,wines,cordials,etc.candeservesomeagreanappellation——thecoachwasannounced,whichwasetocarryoffthebrideandbridegroomforaseason,ascustomhassensiblyordained,intothecountry,uponwhichdesign,wishingthemafelicitousjourney,letusreturntotheassembledguests.

Aswhenawell-gracedactorleavesthestage,

Theeyesofmen

Areidlybentonhimthatentersnext,

soidlydidwebendoureyesupononeanother,whenthechiefperformersinthemorningspageanthadvanished.Nonetoldhistale.Nonesiptherglass.ThepoorAdmiralmadeaneffort——itwasnotmuch.Ihadanticipatedsofar.Eventheinfinityoffullsatisfaction,thathadbetrayeditselfthroughtheprimlooksandquietdeportmentofhislady,begantowaneintosomethingofmisgiving.Nooneknewwhethertotaketheirleavesorstay.Weseemedassembleduponasillyoccasion.Inthiscrisis,betwixttarryinganddeparture,Imustdojusticetoafoolishtalentofmine,whichhadotherwiseliketohavebroughtmeintodisgraceinthefore-partoftheday,Imeanapower,inanyemergency,ofthinkingandgivingventtoallmannerofstrangenonsense.InthisawkwarddilemmaIfounditsovereign.Irattledoffsomeofmymostexcellentabsurdities.Allwerewillingtoberelieved,atanyexpenseofreason,fromthepressureoftheintolerablevacuumwhichhadsucceededtothemorningbustle.BythismeansIwasfortunateinkeepingtogetherthebetterpartofthepanytoalatehour:andarubberofwhist(theAdmiralsfavouritegame)withsomerarestrokesofchanceaswellasskill,whichcameopportunelyonhisside——lengthenedouttillmidnight——dismissedtheoldgentlemanatlasttohisbedwithparativelyeasyspirits.

Ihavebeenatmyoldfriendsvarioustimessince.Idonotknowavisitingplacewhereeveryguestissoperfectlyathisease,nowhere,whereharmonyissostrangelytheresultofconfusion.Everybodyisatcrosspurposes,yettheeffectissomuchbetterthanuniformity.Contradictoryorders,servantspullingoneway,masterandmistressdrivingsomeother,yetbothdiverse,visitorshuddledupincorners,chairsunsymmetrised:candlesdisposedbychance,mealsatoffhours,teaandsupperatonce,orthelatterprecedingtheformer,thehostandtheguestconferring,yeteachuponadifferenttopic,eachunderstandinghimself,neithertryingtounderstandorheartheother,draughtsandpolitics,chessandpoliticaleconomy,cardsandconversationonnauticalmatters,goingonatonce,withoutthehope,orindeedthewish,ofdistinguishingthem,makeitaltogetherthemostperfectconcordiadiscorsyoushallmeetwith.Yetsomehowtheoldhouseisnotquitewhatitshouldbe.TheAdmiralstillenjoyshispipe,buthehasnoMissEmilytofillitforhim.Theinstrumentstandswhereitstood,butsheisgone,whosedelicatetouchcouldsometimesforashortminuteappeasethewarringelements.Hehaslearnt,asMarvelexpressesit,to"makehisdestinyhischoice."Hebearsbravelyup,buthedoesnoteoutwithhisflashesofwildwitsothickasseasongsseldomerescapehim.Hiswife,too,looksasifshewantedsomeyoungerbodytoscoldandsettorights.Weallmissajuniorpresence.Itiswonderfulhowoneyoungmaidenfreshensup,andkeepsgreen,thepaternalroof.Oldandyoungseemtohaveaninterestinher,solongassheisnotabsolutelydisposedof.Theyouthfulnessofthehouseisflown.Emilyismarried.