THE OLD AND THE NEW SCHOOLMASTER

MYreadinghasbeenlamentablydesultoryandimmethodical.odd,outoftheway,oldEnglishplays,andtreatises,havesuppliedmewithmostofmynotions,andwaysoffeeling.Ineverythingthatrelatestoscience,IamawholeEncyclopaediabehindtherestoftheworld.Ishouldhavescarcelycutafigureamongthefranklins,orcountrygentlemen,inkingJohnsdays.Iknowlessgeographythanaschool-boyofsixweeksstanding.TomeamapofoldOrteliusisasauthenticasArrowsmith.IdonotknowwhereaboutAfricamergesintoAsia;whetherEthiopialieinoneorotherofthosegreatdivisions;norcanformtheremotestconjectureofthepositionofNewSouthWales,orVanDiemensLand.YetdoIholdacorrespondencewithaverydearfriendinthefirst-namedofthesetwoTerraeIncognitae.Ihavenoastronomy.IdonotknowwheretolookfortheBear,orCharlessWain;theplaceofanystar;orthenameofanyofthematsight.IguessatVenusonlybyherbrightness——andifthesunonsomeportentousmornweretomakehisfirstappearanceintheWest,Iverilybelieve,that,whilealltheworldweregaspinginapprehensionaboutme,Ialoneshouldstandunterrified,fromsheerincuriosityandwantofobservation.OfhistoryandchronologyIpossesssomevaguepoints,suchasonecannothelppickingupinthecourseofmiscellaneousstudy;butIneverdeliberatelysatdowntoachronicle,evenofmyowncountry.Ihavemostdimapprehensionsofthefourgreatmonarchies;andsometimestheAssyrian,sometimesthePersian,floatsasfirstinmyfancy.ImakethewidestconjecturesconcerningEgypt,andhershepherdkings.MyfriendM.,withgreatpainstaking,gotmetothinkIunderstoodthefirstpropositioninEuclid,butgavemeoverindespairatthesecond.Iamentirelyunacquaintedwiththemodernlanguages;and,likeabettermanthanmyself,have"smallLatinandlessGreek."Iamastrangertotheshapesandtextureofthemonesttrees,herbs,flowers——notfromthecircumstanceofmybeingtown-born——forIshouldhavebroughtthesameinobservantspiritintotheworldwithme,hadIfirstseenitin"onDevonsleafyshores,"——andamnolessatalossamongpurelytown-objects,tools,engines,mechanicprocesses——NotthatIaffectignorance——butmyheadhasnotmanymansions,norspacious;andIhavebeenobligedtofillitwithsuchcabinetcuriositiesasitcanholdwithoutaching.Isometimeswonder,howIhavepassedmyprobationwithsolittlediscreditintheworld,asIhavedone,uponsomeagreastock.Butthefactis,amanmaydoverywellwithaverylittleknowledge,andscarcebefoundout,inmixedpany;everybodyissomuchmorereadytoproducehisown,thantocallforadisplayofyouracquisitions.Butinatete-a-tetethereisnoshuffling.Thetruthwillout.ThereisnothingwhichIdreadsomuch,asthebeingleftaloneforaquarterofanhourwithasensible,well-informedman,thatdoesnotknowme.Ilatelygotintoadilemmaofthissort-

InoneofmydailyjauntsbetweenBishopsgateandShacklewell,thecoachstoppedtotakeupastaid-lookinggentleman,aboutthewrongsideofthirty,whowasgivinghispartingdirections(whilethestepswereadjusting),inatoneofmildauthority,toatallyouth,whoseemedtobeneitherhisclerk,hisson,norhisservant,butsomethingpartakingofallthree.Theyouthwasdismissed,andwedroveon.Aswewerethesolepassengers,henaturallyenoughaddressedhisconversationtome;andwediscussedthemeritsofthefare,thecivilityandpunctualityofthedriver;thecircumstanceofanoppositioncoachhavingbeenlatelysetup,withtheprobabilitiesofitssuccess——toallwhichIwasenabledtoreturnprettysatisfactoryanswers,havingbeendrilledintothiskindofetiquettebysomeyearsdailypracticeofridingtoandfrointhestageaforesaid——whenhesuddenlyalarmedmebyastartlingquestion,whetherIhadseentheshowofprizecattlethatmorninginSmithfield?NowasIhadnotseenit,anddonotgreatlycareforsuchsortofexhibitions,Iwasobligedtoreturnacoldnegative.Heseemedalittlemortified,aswellasastonished,atmydeclaration,as(itappeared)hewasjustefreshfromthesight,anddoubtlesshadhopedtoparenotesonthesubject.HoweverheassuredmethatIhadlostafinetreat,asitfarexceededtheshowoflastyear.WewerenowapproachingNortonFalgate,whenthesightofsomeshop-goodsticketedfreshenedhimupintoadissertationuponthecheapnessofcottonsthisspring.Iwasnowalittleinheart,asthenatureofmymorningavocationshadbroughtmeintosomesortoffamiliaritywiththerawmaterial;andIwassurprisedtofindhoweloquentIwasbeingonthestateoftheIndiamarket——when,presently,hedashedmyincipientvanitytotheearthatonce,byinquiringwhetherIhadevermadeanycalculationastothevalueoftherentalofalltheretailshopsinLondon.Hadheaskedofme,whatsongtheSirenssang,orwhatnameAchillesassumedwhenhehidhimselfamongwomen,Imight,withSirThomasBrowne,havehazardeda"widesolution."Mypanionsawmyembarrassment,and,thealmshousesbeyondShoreditchjustinginview,withgreatgood-natureanddexterityshiftedhisconversationtothesubjectofpubliccharities;whichledtotheparativemeritsofprovisionforthepoorinpastandpresenttimes,withobservationsontheoldmonasticinstitutions,andcharitableorders;——but,findingmeratherdimlyimpressedwithsomeglimmeringnotionsfromoldpoeticassociations,thanstronglyfortifiedwithanyspeculationsreducibletocalculationonthesubject,hegavethematterup;and,thecountrybeginningtoopenmoreandmoreuponus,asweapproachedtheturnpikeatKingsland(thedestinedterminationofhisjourney),heputahomethrustuponme,inthemostunfortunatepositionhecouldhavechosen,byadvancingsomequeriesrelativetotheNorthPoleExpedition.WhileIwasmutteringoutsomethingaboutthePanoramaofthosestrangeregions(whichIhadactuallyseen),bywayofparryingthequestion,thecoachstoppingrelievedmefromanyfurtherapprehensions.Mypaniongettingout,leftmeinthefortablepossessionofmyignorance;andIheardhim,ashewentoff,puttingquestionstoanoutsidepassenger,whohadalightedwithhim,regardinganepidemicdisorder,thathadbeenrifeaboutDalston;andwhich,myfriendassuredhim,hadgonethroughfiveorsixschoolsinthatneighbourhood.Thetruthnowflasheduponme,thatmypanionwasaschoolmaster;andthattheyouth,whomhehadpartedfromatourfirstacquaintance,musthavebeenoneofthebiggerboys,ortheusher.Hewasevidentlyakind-heartedman,whodidnotseemsomuchdesirousofprovokingdiscussionbythequestionswhichheput,asofobtaininginformationatanyrate.Itdidnotappearthathetookanyinterest,either,insuchkindofinquiries,fortheirownsake;butthathewasinsomewayboundtoseekforknowledge.Agreenish-colouredcoat,whichhehadon,forbademetosurmisethathewasaclergy-man.Theadventuregavebirthtosomereflectionsonthedifferencebetweenpersonsofhisprofessioninpastandpresenttimes.

[Footnote]*UrnBurial.

ResttothesoulsofthosefineoldPedagogues;thebreed,longsinceextinct,oftheLilys,andtheLinacres:whobelievingthatalllearningwascontainedinthelanguageswhichtheytaught,anddespisingeveryotheracquirementassuperficialanduseless,cametotheirtaskastoasport!Passingfrominfancytoage,theydreamedawayalltheirdaysasinagrammar-school.Revolvinginaperpetualcycleofdeclensions,conjugations,syntaxes,andprosodies;renewingconstantlytheoccupationswhichhadcharmedtheirstudiouschildhood;rehearsingcontinuallythepartofthepast;lifemusthaveslippedfromthematlastlikeoneday.Theywerealwaysintheirfirstgarden,reapingharvestsoftheirgoldentime,amongtheirFloriandtheirSpici-legia;inArcadiastill,butkings;theferuleoftheirswaynotmuchharsher,butoflikedignitywiththatmildsceptreattributedtokingBasileus;theGreekandLatin,theirstatelyPamelaandtheirPhiloclea;withtheoccasionaldunceryofsomeuntowardTyro,servingforarefreshinginterludeofaMopsa,oraclownDamaetas!

WithwhatasavourdoththePrefacetoColets,or(asitissometimescalled)PaulsAccidence,setforth!"Toexhorteverymantothelearningofgrammar,thatintendethtoattaintheunderstandingofthetongues,whereiniscontainedagreattreasuryofwisdomandknowledge,itwouldseembutvainandlostlabour;forsomuchasitisknown,thatnothingcansurelybeended,whosebeginningiseitherfeebleorfaulty;andnobuildingbeperfect,whereasthefoundationandground-workisreadytofall,andunabletoupholdtheburdenoftheframe."Howwelldoththisstatelypreamble(parabletothosewhichMiltonmendethas"havingbeentheusagetoprefixtosomesolemnlaw,thenfirstpromulgatedbySolon,orLycurgus")correspondwithandillustratethatpiouszealforconformity,expressedinasucceedingclause,whichwouldfenceaboutgrammar-ruleswiththeseverityoffaith-articles!——"asforthediversityofgrammars,itiswellprofitablytakenawaybythekingmajestieswisdom,whoforeseeingtheinconvenience,andfavourablyprovidingtheremedie,causedonekindofgrammarbysundrylearnedmentobediligentlydrawnandsotobesetout,onlyeverywheretobetaughtfortheuseoflearners,andforthehurtinchangingofschoolmaisters."Whatagustointhatwhichfollows:"whereinitisProfitablethatheCanorderlydeclinehisnoun,andhisverb."Hisnoun!

Thefinedreamisfadingawayfast;andtheleastconcernofateacherinthepresentdayistoinculcategrammar-rules.

Themodernschoolmasterisexpectedtoknowalittleofeverything,becausehispupilisrequirednottobeentirelyignorantofanything.Hemustbesuperficially,ifImaysosay,omniscient.Heistoknowsomethingofpneumatics;ofchemistry;ofwhateveriscurious,orpropertoexcitetheattentionoftheyouthfulmind;aninsightintomechanicsisdesirable,withatouchofstatistics;thequalityofsoils,&c.botany,theconstitutionofhiscountry,cummultisaliis.YoumaygetanotionofsomepartofhisexpecteddutiesbyconsultingthefamousTractateonEducationaddressedtoMr.Hartlib.

Allthesethings——these,orthedesireofthem——heisexpectedtoinstil,notbysetlessonsfromprofessors,whichhemaychargeinthebill,butatschool-intervals,ashewalksthestreets,orsauntersthroughgreenfields(thosenaturalinstructors),withhispupils.Theleastpartofwhatisexpectedfromhim,istobedoneinschool-hours.Hemustinsinuateknowledgeatthemolliatemporafandi.Hemustseizeeveryoccasion——theseasonoftheyear——thetimeoftheday——apassingcloud——arainbow——awaggonofhay——aregimentofsoldiersgoingby——toinculcatesomethinguseful.HecanreceivenopleasurefromacasualglimpseofNature,butmustcatchatitasanobjectofinstruction.Hemustinterpretbeautyintothepicturesque.Hecannotrelishabeggar-man,oragipsy,forthinkingofthesuitableimprovement.Nothingestohim,notspoiledbythesophisticatingmediumofmoraluses.TheUniverse——thatGreatBook,asithasbeencalled——istohimindeed,toallintentsandpurposes,abook,outofwhichheisdoomedtoreadtedioushomiliestodistastingschoolboys——Vacationsthemselvesarenonetohim,heisonlyratherworseoffthanbefore;formonlybehassomeintrusiveupper-boyfasteneduponhimatsuchtimes;somecadetofagreatfamily;someneglectedlumpofnobility,orgentry;thathemustdragafterhimtotheplay,tothePanorama,toMr.BartleysOrrery,tothePanopticon,orintothecountry,toafriendshouse,ortohisfavouritewatering-place.Whereverhegoes,thisuneasyshadowattendshim.Aboyisathisboard,andinhispath,andinallhismovements.Heisboy-rid,sickofperpetualboy.

Boysarecapitalfellowsintheirownway,amongtheirmates;buttheyareunwholesomepanionsforgrownpeople.Therestraintisfeltnolessontheoneside,thanontheother——Evenachild,that"playthingforanhour,"tiresalways.Thenoisesofchildren,playingtheirownfancies——asInowhearkentothembyfits,sportingonthegreenbeforemywindow,whileIamengagedinthesegravespeculationsatmyneatsuburbanretreatatShacklewell——bydistancemademoresweet——inexpressiblytakefromthelabourofmytask.Itislikewritingtomusic.Theyseemtomodulatemyperiods.Theyoughtatleasttodoso——forinthevoiceofthattenderagethereisakindofpoetry,farunliketheharshprose-accentsofmansconversation——Ishouldbutspoiltheirsport,anddiminishmyownsympathyforthem,byminglingintheirpastime.

Iwouldnotbedomesticatedallmydayswithapersonofverysuperiorcapacitytomyown——not,ifIknowmyselfatall,fromanyconsiderationsofjealousyorself-parison,fortheoccasionalmunionwithsuchmindshasconstitutedthefortuneandfelicityofmylife——butthehabitoftooconstantintercoursewithspiritsaboveyou,insteadofraisingyou,keepsyoudown.Toofrequentdosesoforiginalthinkingfromothers,restrainwhatlesserportionofthatfacultyyoumaypossessofyourown.Yougetentangledinanothermansmind,evenasyouloseyourselfinanothermansgrounds.Youarewalkingwithatallvarlet,whosestridesout-paceyourstolassitude.Theconstantoperationofsuchpotentagencywouldreduceme,Iamconvinced,toimbecility.Youmayderivethoughtsfromothers;yourwayofthinking,themouldinwhichyourthoughtsarecast,mustbeyourown.Intellectmaybeimparted,butnoteachmansintellectualframe-

AslittleasIshouldwishtobealwaysthusdraggedupwards,aslittle(orratherstillless)isitdesirabletobestunteddownwardsbyyourassociates.Thetrumpetdoesnotmorestunyoubyitsloudness,thanawhisperteasesyoubyitsprovokinginaudibility.

Whyareweneverquiteatoureaseinthepresenceofaschoolmaster?——becauseweareconsciousthatheisnotquiteathiseaseinours.Heisawkward,andoutofplace,inthesocietyofhisequals.HeeslikeGulliverfromamonghislittlepeople,andhecannotfitthestatureofhisunderstandingtoyours.Hecannotmeetyouonthesquare.Hewantsapointgivenhim,likeanindifferentwhist-player.Heissousedtoteaching,thathewantstobeteachingyou.Oneoftheseprofessors,uponmyplainingthattheselittlesketchesofminewereanythingbutmethodical,andthatIwasunabletomakethemotherwise,kindlyofferedtoinstructmeinthemethodbywhichyounggentlemeninhisseminaryweretaughttoposeEnglishthemes——Thejestsofaschoolmasterarecoarse,orthin.Theydonottelloutofschool.Heisundertherestraintofaformalanddidactivehypocrisyinpany,asaclergymanisunderamoralone.Hecannomorelethisintellectlooseinsociety,thantheothercanhisinclinations——Heisforlornamonghisco-evals;hisjuniorscannotbehisfriends.

"Itakeblametomyself,"saidasensiblemanofthisprofession,writingtoafriendrespectingayouthwhohadquittedhisschoolabruptly——"thatyournephewwasnotmoreattachedtome.Butpersonsinmysituationaremoretobepitied,thancanwellbeimagined.Wearesurroundedbyyoung,and,consequently,ardentlyaffectionatehearts,butwecanneverhopetoshareanatomoftheiraffections.Therelationofmasterandscholarforbidsthis.Howpleasingthismustbetoyou,howIenvyyourfeelings,myfriendswillsometimessaytome,whentheyseeyoungmen,whomIhaveeducated,returnaftersomeyearsabsencefromschool,theireyesshiningwithpleasure,whiletheyshakehandswiththeiroldmaster,bringingapresentofgametome,oratoytomywife,andthankingmeinthewarmesttermsformycareoftheireducation.Aholidayisbeggedfortheboys;thehouseisasceneofhappiness;I,only,amsadatheart——Thisfine-spiritedandwarm-heartedyouth,whofanciesherepayshismasterwithgratitudeforthecareofhisboyishyears——thisyoungman——intheeightlongyearsIwatchedoverhimwithaparentsanxiety,nevercouldrepaymewithonelookofgenuinefeeling.Hewasproud,whenIpraised;hewassubmissive,whenIreprovedhim;buthedidneverloveme——andwhathenowmistakesforgratitudeandkindnessforme,isbutthepleasantsensation,whichallpersonsfeelatrevisitingthesceneoftheirboyishhopesandfears;andtheseeingonequaltermsthemantheywereaccustomedtolookuptowithreverence.Mywifetoo,"thisinterestingcorrespondentgoesontosay,"myoncedarlingAnna,isthewifeofaschoolmaster——WhenImarriedher——knowingthatthewifeofaschoolmasteroughttobeabusynotablecreature,andfearingthatmygentleAnnawouldillsupplythelossofmydearbustlingmother,justthendead,whoneversatstill,wasineverypartofthehouseinamoment,andwhomIwasobligedsometimestothreatentofastendowninachair,tosaveherfromfatiguingherselftodeath——Iexpressedmyfears,thatIwasbringingherintoawayoflifeunsuitabletoher;andshe,wholovedmetenderly,promisedformysaketoexertherselftoperformthedutiesofhernewsituation.Shepromised,andshehaskeptherword.Whatwonderswillnotwomansloveperform?——Myhouseismanagedwithaproprietyanddecorum,unknowninotherschools;myboysarewellfed,lookhealthy,andhaveeveryproperacmodation;andallthisperformedwithacarefuleconomy,thatneverdescendstomeanness.ButIhavelostmygentle,helplessAnna!——Whenwesitdowntoenjoyanhourofreposeafterthefatigueoftheday,Iampelledtolistentowhathavebeenheruseful(andtheyarereallyuseful)employmentsthroughtheday,andwhatsheproposesforherto-morrowstask.Herheartandherfeaturesarechangedbythedutiesofhersituation.Totheboys,sheneverappearsotherthanthemasterswife,andshelooksuptomeastheboysmaster;towhomallshowofloveandaffectionwouldbehighlyimproper,andunbeingthedignityofhersituationandmine.Yetthismygratitudeforbidsmetohinttoher.Formysakeshesubmittedtobethisalteredcreature,andcanIreproachherforit?"——Forthemunicationofthisletter,IamindebtedtomycousinBridget.