MACKERY END, IN HERTFORDSHIRE

BridgetEliahasbeenmyhousekeeperformanyalongyear.IhaveobligationstoBridget,extendingbeyondtheperiodofmemory.Wehousetogether,oldbachelorandmaid,inasortofdoublesingleness;withsuchtolerablefort,uponthewhole,thatI,forone,findinmyselfnosortofdispositiontogooutuponthemountains,withtherashkingsoffspring,tobewailmycelibacy.Weagreeprettywellinourtastesandhabit——yetso,as"withadifference."Wearegenerallyinharmony,withoccasionalbickeringsasitshouldbeamongnearrelations.Oursympathiesareratherunderstood,thanexpressed;andonce,uponmydissemblingatoneinmyvoicemorekindthanordinary,mycousinburstintotears,andplainedthatIwasaltered.Wearebothgreatreadersindifferentdirections.WhileIamhangingover(forthethousandthtime)somepassageinoldBurton,oroneofhisstrangecontemporaries,sheisabstractedinsomemoderntale,oradventure,whereofourmonreading-tableisdailyfedwithassiduouslyfreshsupplies.Narrativeteazesme.Ihavelittleconcernintheprogressofevents.Shemusthaveastory——well,ill,orindifferentlytold——sotherebelifestirringinit,andplentyofgoodorevilaccidents.Thefluctuationsoffortuneinfiction——andalmostinreallife——haveceasedtointerest,oroperatebutdullyuponme.Out-of-the-wayhumoursandopinion——headswithsomedivertingtwistinthem——theodditiesofauthorshippleasememost.MycousinhasanativedisrelishofanythingthatsoundsoddorbizarreNothinggoesdownwithher,thatisquaint,irregular,oroutoftheroadofmonsympathy.She"holdsNaturemoreclever."IcanpardonherblindnesstothebeautifulobliquitiesoftheReligioMedici;butshemustapologisetomeforcertaindisrespectfulinsinuations,whichshehasbeenpleasedtothrowoutlatterly,touchingtheintellectualsofadearfavouriteofmine,ofthelastcenturybutone——thethricenoble,chaste,andvirtuous,——butagainsomewhatfantastical,andoriginal-braind,generousMargaretNewcastle.

Ithasbeenthelotofmycousin,oftenerperhapsthanIcouldhavewished,tohavehadforherassociatesandmine,free-thinkersleaders,anddisciples,ofnovelphilosophiesandsystems;butsheneitherwrangleswith,noraccepts,theiropinions.Thatwhichwasgoodandvenerabletoher,whenachild,retainsitsauthorityoverhermindstill.Sheneverjugglesorplaystrickswithherunderstanding.

Wearebothofusinclinedtobealittletoopositive;andIhaveobservedtheresultofourdisputestobealmostuniformlythis——thatinmattersoffact,dates,andcircumstances,itturnsout,thatIwasintheright,andmycousininthewrong.Butwherewehavediffereduponmoralpoints;uponsomethingpropertobedone,orletalone;whateverheatofopposition,orsteadinessofconviction,Isetoutwith,Iamsurealways,inthelongrun,tobebroughtovertoherwayofthinking.

Imusttouchuponthefoiblesofmykinswomanwithagentlehand,forBridgetdoesnotliketobetoldofherfaults.Shehathanawkwardtrick(tosaynoworseofit)ofreadinginpany:atwhichtimesshewillansweryesornotoaquestion,withoutfullyunderstandingitspurport——whichisprovoking,andderogatoryinthehighestdegreetothedignityoftheputterofthesaidquestion.Herpresenceofmindisequaltothemostpressingtrialsoflife,butwillsometimesdesertherupontriflingoccasions.Whenthepurposerequiresit,andisathingofmoment,shecanspeaktoitgreatly;butinmatterswhicharenotstuffoftheconscience,shehathbeenknownsometimestoletslipawordlessseasonably.Hereducationinyouthwasnotmuchattendedto;andshehappilymissedallthattrainoffemalegarniture,whichpassethbythenameofacplishments.Shewastumbledearly,byaccidentordesign,intoaspaciousclosetofgoodoldEnglishreading,withoutmuchselectionorprohibition,andbrowsedatwilluponthatfairandwholesomepasturage.HadItwentygirls,theyshouldbebroughtupexactlyinthisfashion.Iknownotwhethertheirchanceinwedlockmightnotbediminishedbyit;butIcananswerforit,thatitmakes(iftheworstetotheworst)mostinparableoldmaids.

Inaseasonofdistress,sheisthetruestforter;butintheteazingaccidents,andminorperplexities,whichdonotcalloutthewilltomeetthem,shesometimesmakethmattersworsebyanexcessofparticipation.Ifshedoesnotalwaysdivideyourtroubleuponthepleasanteroccasionsoflifesheissurealwaystotrebleyoursatisfaction.Sheisexcellenttobeataplaywith,oruponavisit;butbest,whenshegoesajourneywithyou.

Wemadeanexcursiontogetherafewsummerssince,intoHertfordshire,toheatupthequartersofsomeofourless-knownrelationsinthatfinecorncountry.

TheoldestthingIrememberisMackeryEnd;orMackarelEnd,asitisspelt,perhapsmoreproperly,insomeoldmapsofHertfordshire;afarmhouse,delightfullysituatedwithinagentlewalkfromWheathampstead.Icanjustrememberhavingbeenthere,onavisittoagreat-aunt,whenIwasachild,underthecareofBridget;who,asIhavesaid,isolderthanmyselfbysometenyears.IwishthatIcouldthrowintoaheaptheremainderofourjointexistences,thatwemightsharetheminequaldivision.Butthatisimpossible.Thehousewasatthattimeintheoccupationofasubstantialyeoman,whohadmarriedmygrandmotherssister.HisnamewasGladman.MygrandmotherwasaBruton,marriedtoaField.TheGladmansandtheBrutonsarestillflourishinginthatpartofthecounty,buttheFieldsarealmostextinct.MorethanfortyyearshadelapsedsincethevisitIspeakof;and,forthegreaterportionofthatperiod,wehadlostsightoftheothertwobranchesalso.WhoorwhatsortofpersonsinheritedMackeryEnd——kindredorstrangefolk——wewereafraidalmosttoconjecture,butdeterminedsomewaytoexplore.

Bysomewhatacircuitousroute,takingthenobleparkatLutoninourwayfromSaintAlbans,wearrivedatthespotofouranxiouscuriosityaboutnoon.Thesightoftheoldfarm-house,thougheverytraceofitwaseffacedfrommyrecollection,affectedmewithapleasurewhichIhadnotexperiencedformanyayear.ForthoughIhadforgottenit,wehadneverforgottenbeingtheretogether,andwehadbeentalkingaboutMackeryEndallourlives,tillmemoryonmypartbecamemockedwithaphantomofitself,andIthoughtIknewtheaspectofaplace,which,whenPresent,Ohowunlikeitwastothat,whichIhadconjuredupsomanytimesinsteadofit!

Stilltheairbreathedbalmilyaboutit;theseasonwasinthe"heartofJune,"andIcouldsaywiththepoet,

Butthou,thatdidstappearsofair

Tofondimagination,

Dostrivalinthelightofday

Herdelicatecreation!

Bridgetswasmoreawakingblissthanmine,forsheeasilyrememberedheroldacquaintanceagain——somealteredfeatures,ofcourse,alittlegrudgedat.Atfirst,indeed,shewasreadytodisbelieveforjoy;butthescenesoonre-confirmeditselfinheraffection——andshetraversedeveryout-postoftheoldmansion,tothewood-house,theorchard,theplacewherethepigeon-househadstood(houseandbirdswerealikeflown)——withabreathlessimpatienceofrecognition,whichwasmorepardonableperhapsthandecorousattheageoffiftyodd.ButBridgetinsomethingsisbehindheryears.

Theonlythingleftwastogetintothehouse——andthatwasadifficultywhichtomesinglywouldhavebeeninsurmountable;forIamterriblyshyinmakingmyselfknowntostrangersandout-of-datekinsfolk.Love,strongerthanscruple,wingedmycousininwithoutme;butshesoonreturnedwithacreaturethatmighthavesattoasculptorfortheimageofWele.ItwastheyoungestoftheGladmans;who,bymarriagewithaBruton,hadbeemistressoftheoldmansion.AelybroodaretheBrutons.Sixofthem,females,werenotedasthehandsomestyoungwomeninthecounty.ButthisadoptedBruton,inmymind,wasbetterthantheyall——moreely.Shewasborntoolatetohaverememberedme.ShejustrecollectedinearlylifetohavehadhercousinBridgetpointedouttoher,climbingastyle.Butthenamekindred,andofcousinship,wasenough.Thoseslenderties,thatproveslightasgossamerintherendingatmosphereofametropolis,bindfaster,aswefoundit,inhearty,homely,lovingHertfordshire.Infiveminuteswewereasthoroughlyacquaintedasifwehadbeenbornandbreduptogether;werefamiliar,eventothecallingeachotherbyourChristiannames.SoChristiansshouldcalloneanother.TohaveseenBridget,andher——itwaslikethemeetingofthetwoscripturalcousins!Therewasagraceanddignity,anamplitudeofformandstature,answeringtohermind,inthisfarmerswife,whichwouldhaveshinedinapalace——orsowethoughtit.Weweremadewelebyhusbandandwifeequally——we,andourfriendthatwaswithus——Ihadalmostforgottenhim——butB.F.willnotsosoonforgetthatmeeting,ifperadventureheshallreadthisonthefardistantshoreswheretheKangaroohaunts.Thefattedcalfwasmadeready,orratherwasalreadyso,asifinanticipationofouring;and,afteranappropriateglassofnativewine,neverletmeforgetwithwhathonestpridethishospitablecousinmadeusproceedtoWheathampstead,tointroduceus(assomenew-foundrarity)tohermotherandsisterGladmans,whodidindeedknowsomethingmoreofus,atatimewhenshealmostknewnothing——Withwhatcorrespondingkindnesswewerereceivedbythemalso——howBridgetsmemory,exaltedbytheoccasion,warmedintoathousandhalf-obliteratedrecollectionsofthingsandpersons,tomyutterastonishment,andherown——andtotheastoundmentofB.F.whosatby,almosttheonlythingthatwasnotacousinthere,——oldeffacedimagesofmorethanhalf-forgottennamesandcircumstancesstillcrowdingbackuponher,aswordswritteninlemoneoutuponexposuretoafriendlywarmth,——whenIforgetallthis,thenmaymycountrycousinsforgetme;andBridgetnomoreremember,thatinthedaysofweaklinginfancyIwashertendercharge——asIhavebeenhercareinfoolishmanhoodsince——inthoseprettypastoralwalks,longagoaboutMackeryEnd,inHertfordshire.