Part 3 Book 2 Chapter 1 Ninety Years and Thirty-two Teeth
m.gillenormand, who was as much alive as possible in 1831, was one of those men who had become curiosities to be viewed, simply because they have lived a long time, and who are strange because they formerly resembled everybody, and now resemble nobody. he was a peculiar old man, and in very truth, a man of another age, the real, complete and rather haughty bourgeois of the eighteenth century, who wore his good, old bourgeoisie with the air with which marquises wear their marquisates. he was over nicomy years of age, his walk was erect, he talked loudly, saw clearly, drank neat, ate, slept, and snored. he had all thirty-two of his teeth. he only wore spectacles when he read. he was of an amorous disposition, but declared that, for the last ten years, he had wholly and decidedly renounced women. he could no longer please, he said; he did not add: "i am too old," but: "i am too poor." he said: "if i were not ruined--heee!" all he had left, in fact, was an income of about fifteen thousand francs. his dream was to come into an inheritance and to have a hundred thousand livres income for mistresses. he did not belong, as the reader will perceive, to that puny variety of octogenaries who, like m. de voltaire, have been dying all their life; his was no longevity of a cracked pot; this jovial old man had always had good health. he was superficial, rapid, easily angered. he flew into a passion at everything, generally quite contrary to all reason. when contradicted, he raised his cane; he beat people as he had done in the great century. he had a daughter over fifty years of age, and unmarried, whom he chastised severely with his tongue, when in a rage, and whom he would have liked to whip. she seemed to him to be eight years old. he boxed his servants' ears soundly, and said: "ah! carogne!" one of his oaths was: "by the pantoufloche of the pantouflochade!" he had singular freaks of tranquillity; he had himself shaved every day by a barber who had been mad and who detested him, being jealous of m. gillenormand on account of his wife, a pretty and coquettish barberess. m. gillenormand admired his own discernment in all things, and declared that he was extremely sagacious; here is one of his sayings: "i have, in truth, some pecomration; i am able to say when a flea bites me, from what woman it came."
the words which he uttered the most frequently were: the sensible man, and nature. he did not give to this last word the grand acceptation which our epoch has accorded to it, but he made it enter, after his own fashion, into his little chimney-corner satires: "nature," he said, "in order that civilization may have a little of everything, gives it even specimens of its amusing barbarism. europe possesses specimens of asia and africa on a small scale. the cat is a drawing-room tiger, the lizard is a pocket crocodile. the dancers at the opera are pink female savages. they do not eat men, they crunch them; or, magicians that they are, they transform them into oysters and swallow them. the caribbeans leave only the bones, they leave only the shell. such are our morals. we do not devour, we gnaw; we do not exterminate, we claw."
在布什拉街、诺曼底街和圣东日街现在还有几个老居民，都还记得一个叫做吉诺曼先生的老人，并且在谈到他时总免不了有些向往的心情。那老人在他们还年轻时便已上了年纪。他的形象，对那些怀着惆怅心情回顾那一片若有似无的幢幢黑影----所谓过去----的人来说，还没有在大庙附近那些迷宫似的街道里完全消失。在那些地方，在路易十四时代，人们用法国全部行省的名称来命名街道，和我们今天的蒂沃利新区用欧洲所有首都的名称来命名街道一样，是绝对相似的。附带说一句，这是前进，其中进步意义是明显的。
那位在一八三一年还健到不能再健的吉诺曼先生是那样一个仅仅由于寿长而值得一看的奇人，也是那样一个在从前和所有人全一样而现在和任何人全不一样的怪人。那是一个独特的老人，千真万确是另一个时代的人，是一个真正原封不动、略带傲味的那种十八世纪的绅士，死抱着他那腐朽发臭的缙绅派头，正如侯爷珍惜他的侯爷爵位一样。他已过了九十高龄，步伐稳健，声音洪亮，目光炯炯，喝酒不搀水，能吃，能睡，能打鼾。他有三十二颗牙。除了阅读，他不戴眼镜。他还有兴致自诩多情，但他又常说，十年以来，已干脆彻底放弃女人了。他说他已不能讨人家的喜欢。此外，他不说“我太老了”，而是说“我太穷了”。他常说：“要是我的家产没有败的话……嘿嘿！”的确，他只剩下一万五千利弗左右的年息了。他的美梦是希望能继承一笔遗产，能有十万法郎的年金，好找小娘儿们。我们可以看出，他和伏尔泰先生绝不相同，他绝不是那种一辈子都是半死不活、与鬼为邻的八十岁老翁，这不是一位风中残烛似的寿星，这位雄心犹存的老者一向非常健康。他是浅薄、急躁、容易动火的。他动辄大发雷霆，经常违悖情理。如果有人不肯迎合他的旨意，他便举起手杖，常常打人，好象他还生活在大世纪①似的。他有一个女儿，五十出头了，没有结婚，他发脾气时便痛打那个女儿，恨不得用鞭子抽。在他看来，她好象只有八岁。他经常狠狠地恶骂用人，常说：“哈！坏女人！”他骂人的话中有句是“破鞋堆里的破鞋”！有时，他又镇静到出奇。他每天要一个得过疯病的理发师来替他刮胡子，那理发师可是讨厌他，为的是他那女人，一个漂亮风骚的理发店老板娘，因而对吉诺曼先生有点犯酸。吉诺曼先生非常欣赏自己对一切事物的分析能力，自命聪敏过人。他说过这样的话：“老实说，我颇有辨别力，跳蚤叮我时，我有把握说出那跳蚤是从哪个女人身上跳到我身上来的。”他最常用的一些字眼是“多感的人”和“造化”。他对“造化”的解释和我们这时代对这词的理解不同。他坐在火炉边，按照自己的意思，把它编在自己的俏皮话里。“造化，”他说，“为了使文化能什么都有一点，就连有趣的野蛮状态的标本也都给了它一些。欧洲有着亚洲和非洲的一些样品，只是尺寸比较小些。猫儿是客厅里的老虎，壁虎是袖珍鳄鱼。歌剧院里的舞女是玫瑰色的蛮婆。她们不吃人，但会把人咬碎。也可以这样说：‘一群女妖精！’她们把人变成牡蛎②，再把他们吞下去。加勒比人③只剩下骨头不吃，而她们也只剩下贝壳不吃。这便是我们的风尚。我们不吃人，但会咬人，不杀人，但会掐人。”
①路易十四当国时期（1661-1715）称大世纪。
②牡蛎是傻瓜的意思。
③加勒比人，安的列斯群岛的一个民族。