MRS. BATTLE'S OPINIONS ON WHIST

ACLEARfire,acleanhearth,andtherigourofthegame."ThiswasthecelebratedwishofoldSarahBattle(nowwithGod)who,nexttoherdevotions,lovedagoodgameatwhist.Shewasnoneofyourlukewarmgamesters,yourhalfandhalfwhohavenoobjectiontotakeahand,ifyouwantonetomakeuparubber:whoaffirmthattheyhavenopleasureinwinning;thattheyliketowinonegame,andloseanother;thattheycanwhileawayanhourveryagreeablyatacard-table,butareindifferentwhethertheyplayorno;andwilldesireanadversary,whohassliptawrongcard,totakeitupandlayanother.Theseinsufferabletriflersarethecurseofatable.Oneoftheseflieswillspoilawholepot.Ofsuchitmaybesaid,thattheydonotplayatcards,butonlyplayatplayingatthem.

Battlewasnoneofthatbreed.Shedetestedthem,asIdo,fromherheartandsoul;andwouldnot,saveuponastrikingemergency,willinglyseatherselfatthesametablewiththem.Shelovedathorough-pacedpartner,adeterminedenemy.Shetook,andgave,noconcessions.Shehatedfavours.Shenevermadearevoke,noreverpasseditoverinheradversarywithoutexactingtheutmostforfeiture.Shefoughtagoodfight:cutandthrust.Sheheldnothergoodsword(hercards)"likeadancer."Shesateboltupright;andneithershowedyouhercards,nordesiredtoseeours.Allpeoplehavetheirb]indside——theirsuperstitions:andIhaveheardherdeclare,undertherose,thatHeartswasherfavouritesuit.

Ineverinmylife——andIknewSarahBattlemanyofthebestyearsofit——sawhertakeouthersnuff-boxwhenitwasherturntoplay:orsnuffacandleinthemiddleofagame;orringforaservant,tillitwasfairlyover.Sheneverintroduced,orconnivedat,miscellaneousconversationduringitsprocess.Assheemphaticallyobserved,cardswerecards:andifIeversawunmingleddistasteinherfinelast-centurycountenance,itwasattheairsofayounggentlemanofaliteraryturn,whohadbeenwithdifficultypersuadedtotakeahand,andwho,inhisexcessofcandour,declared,thathethoughttherewasnoharminunbendingthemindnowandthen,afterseriousstudies,inrecreationsofthatkind!Shecouldnotheartohavehernobleoccupation,towhichshewoundupherfaculties,consideredinthatlight.Itwasherbusiness,herduty,thethingshecameintotheworldtodo,——andshedidit.Sheunbenthermindafterwards——overabook.

Popewasherfavouriteauthor:hisRapeoftheLockherfavouritework.Sheoncedidmethefavourtoplayoverwithme(withthecards)hiscelebratedgameofOmbreinthatpoem;andtoexplaintomehowfaritagreedwith,andinwhatpointsitwouldbefoundtodifferfrom,tradrille.Herillustrationswereappositeandpoignant;andIhadthepleasureofsendingthesubstanceofthemtoMr.Bowles:butIsupposetheycametoolatetobeinsertedamonghisingeniousnotesuponthatauthor.

Quadrille,shehasoftentoldme,washerfirstlove;butwhisthadengagedhermatureresteem.Theformer,shesaid,wasshowyandspecious,andlikelytoallureyoungpersons.Theuncertaintyandquickshiftingofpartners——athingwhichtheconstancyofwhistabhors——thedazzlingsupremacyandregalinvestitureofSpadille——absurdasshejustlyobserved,inthepurearistocracyofwhist,wherecrownandgartergivehimnoproperpowerabovehisbrother-nobilityoftheAces;——thegiddyvanity,sotakingtotheinexperienced,ofplayingalone——aboveall,theoverpoweringattractionsofaSansPrendreVole,——tothetriumphofwhichthereiscertainlynothingparallelorapproaching,inthecontingenciesofwhist;——allthese,shewouldsay,makequadrilleagameofcaptivationtotheyoungandenthusiastic.Butwhistwasthesolidergame:thatwasherword.Itwasalongmeal;not,likequadrille,afeastofsnatches.Oneortworubbersmightco-extendindurationwithanevening.Theygavetimetoformrootedfriendships,tocultivatesteadyenmities.Shedespisedthechance-started,capricious,andeverfluctuatingalliancesoftheother.Theskirmishesofquadrille,shewouldsay,remindedherofthepettyephemeralembroilmentsofthelittleItalianstates,depictedbyMachiavel;perpetuallychangingposturesandconnexions;bitterfoe,to-day,sugareddarlingsto-morrow;kissingandscratchinginabreath——butthewarsofwhistwereparabletothelong,steady,deep-rooted,rational,antipathiesofthegreatFrenchandEnglishnations.

Agravesimplicitywaswhatshechieflyadmiredinherfavouritegame.Therewasnothingsillyinit,likethenobincribbage——nothingsuperfluous.Noflushes——thatmostirrationalofallpleasthatareasonablebeingcansetin——thatandoneshouldclaimfourbyvirtueofholdingcardsofthesamemarkandcolour,withoutreferencetotheplayingofthegame,ortheindividualworthorpretensionsofthecardsthemselves!Sheheldthistobeasolecism;aspitifulanambitionatcardsasalliterationisinauthorship.Shedespisedsuperficiality,andlookeddeeperthanthecoloursofthings——Suitsweresoldiers,shewouldsay,andmusthaveauniformityofarraytodistinguishthem:butwhatshouldwesaytoafoolishsquire,whoshouldclaimameritfromdressinguphistenantryinredjackets,thatneverweretobemarshalled——nevertotakethefield?——Sheevenwishedthatwhistweremoresimplethanitis;and,inmymind,wouldhavestriptitofsomeappendages,which,inthestateofhumanfrailty,maybevenially,andevenmendablyallowedof.Shesawnoreasonforthedecidingofthetrumpbytheturnofthecard.Whynotonesuitalwaystrumps?Whytwocolours,whenthemarkofthesuitswouldhavesufficientlydistinguishedthemwithoutit?——

"Buttheeye,mydearMadam,isagreeablyrefreshedwiththevariety.Manisnotacreatureofpurereason——hemusthavehissensesdelightfullyappealedto.WeseeitinRomanCatholiccountries,wherethemusicandthepaintingsdrawinmanytoworship,whomyourquakerspiritofunsensualizingwouldhavekeptout——You,yourself,haveaprettycollectionofpaintings——butconfesstome,whether,walkinginyourgalleryatSandham,amongthoseclearVandykes,oramongthePaulPottersintheante-room,youeverfeltyourbosomglowwithanelegantdelight,atallparabletothatyouhaveitinyourpowertoexperiencemosteveningsoverawell-arrangedassortmentofthecourtcards?——theprettyantichabits,likeheraldsinaprocession——thegaytriumph-assuringscarlet——thecontrastingdeadly-killingsables——the`hoarymajestyofspades——Paminallhisglory!——

"Allthesemightbedispensedwith;and,withtheirnakednamesuponthedrabpasteboard,thegamemightgoonverywell,picture-less.Butthebeautyofcardswouldbeextinguishedforever.Strippedofallthatisimaginativeinthem,theymustdegenerateintomeregambling——Imagineadulldealboard,ordrumhead,tospreadthemon,insteadofthatniceverdantcarpet(nexttonatures),fittestarenaforthosecourtlybatantstoplaytheirgallantjoustsandturneysin!——Exchangethosedelicately-turnedivorymarkers——workofChineseartist,unconsciousoftheirsymbol,——orasprofanelyslightingtheirtrueapplicationasthearrantestEphesianjourneymanthatturnedoutthoselittleshrinesforthegoddess)——exchangethemforlittlebitsofleather(ourancestorsmoney)orchalkandaslate!"-

Theoldlady,withasmile,confessedthesoundnessofmylogic;andtoherapprobationofmyargumentsonherfavouritetopicthatevening,Ihavealwaysfanciedmyselfindebtedforthelegacyofacuriouscribbageboard,madeofthefinestSiennamarble,whichhermaternaluncle(oldWalterPlumer,whomIhaveelsewherecelebrated)broughtwithhimfromFlorence——this,andatrifleoffivehundredpounds,cametomeatherdeath.

Theformerbequest(whichIdonotleastvalue)Ihavekeptwithreligiouscare;thoughsheherself,toconfessatruth,wasnevergreatlytakenwithcribbage.Itwasanessentiallyvulgargame,Ihaveheardhersay,——disputingwithheruncle,whowasverypartialtoit.Shecouldneverheartilybringhermouthtopronounce"go"——or"thatsago."Shecalleditanungrammaticalgame.Thepeggingteasedher.Ionceknewhertoforfeitarubber(afivedollarstake),becauseshewouldnottakeadvantageoftheturn-upknave,whichwouldhavegivenither,butwhichshemusthaveclaimedbythedisgracefultenureofdeclaring"twoforhisheed."Theresomethingextremelygenteelinthissortofself-denial.SarahBattlewasagentlewomanborn.

Piquetsheheldthebestatthecardsfortwopersons,thoughshewouldridiculethepedantryoftheterms——suchaspique——repique——thecapot——theysavoured(shethought)ofaffectation.Butgamesfortwo,oreventhree,shenevergreatlycaredfor.Shelovedthequadrate,orsquare.Shewouldarguethus——Cardsarewarfare;theendsaregain,withglory.Butcardsarewar,indisguiseofasport:whensingleadversariesencounter,theendsproposedaretoopalpable.Bythemselves,itistoocloseafight;withspectators,itisnotmuchbettered.Nolookeroncanbeinterested,exceptforabet,andthenitisamereaffairofmoney;hecaresnotforyourlucksympathetically,orforyourplay——Threearestillworse;amerenakedwarofeverymanagainsteveryman,asincribbage,withoutleagueoralliance;orarotationofpettyandcontradictoryinterests,asuccessionofheartlessleagues,andnotmuchmoreheartyinfractionsofthem,asintradrille——Butinsquaregames(shemeantwhist)allthatispossibletobeattainedincard-playingisacplished.Therearetheincentivesofprofitwithhonour,montoeveryspecies——thoughthelattercanbebutveryimperfectlyenjoyedinthoseothergames,wherethespectatorisonlyfeeblyaparticipator.Butthepartiesinwhistarespectatorsandprincipalstoo.Theyareatheatretothemselves,andalooker-onisnotwanted.Heisratherworsethannothing,andanimpertinence.Whistabhorsneutralityorsomeinterestbeyonditssphere.Yougloryinsomesurprisingstrokeofskillorfortune,notbecauseacold——orevenaninterestedbystanderwitnessesit,butbecauseyourpartnersympathisesinthecontingency.Youwinfortwo.Youtriumphfortwo.Twoareexalted.Twoagainaremortified;whichdividestheirdisgrace,astheconjunctiondoubles(bytakingofftheinvidiousness)yourglories.Twolosingtotwoarebetterreconciled,thanonetooneinthatclosebutchery.Thehostilefeelingisweakenedbymultiplyingthechannels.Warbeesacivilgame——Bysuchreasoningsasthesetheoldladywasaccustomedtodefendherfavouritepastime.

Noinducementcouldeverprevailuponhertoplayatanygame,wherechanceenteredintotheposition,fornothing.Chance,shewouldargue——andhereagain,admirethesubtletyofherconclusion!——chanceisnothing,butwheresomethingelsedependsuponit.Itisobvious,thatcannotbeglory.Whatrationalcauseofexultationcoulditgivetoamantoturnupsizeaceahundredtimestogetherbyhimself?orbeforespectators,wherenostakewasdepending?——Makealotteryofahundredthousandticketswithbutonefortunatenumber——andwhatpossibleprincipleofournature,exceptstupidwonderment,coulditgratifytogainthatnumberasmanytimessuccessively,withoutaprize?——Thereforeshedislikedthemixtureofchanceinbackgammon,whereitwasnotplayedformoney.Shecalleditfoolish,andthosepeopleidiots,whoweretakenwithaluckyhitundersuchcircumstances.Gamesofpureskillwereaslittletoherfancy.Playedforastake,theywereameresystemofover-reaching.Playedforglory,theywereameresettingofonemanswit,——hismemory,orbination——facultyrather——againstanothers;likeamock-engagementatareview,bloodlessandprofitless——Shecouldnotconceiveagamewantingthespritelyinfusionofchance,——thehandsomeexcusesofgoodfortune.Twopeopleplayingatchessinacornerofaroom,whilstwhistwasstirringinthecentre,wouldinspireherwithinsufferablehorrorandennui.Thosewell-cutsimilitudesofCastles,andKnights,theimageryoftheboard,shewouldargue,(andIthinkinthiscasejustly)wereentirelymisplacedandsenseless.Thosehardhead-contestscaninnoinstanceallywiththefancy.Theyrejectformandcolour.Apencilanddryslate(sheusedtosay)weretheproperarenaforsuchbatants.

Tothosepunyobjectorsagainstcards,asnurturingthebadpassions,shewouldretort,thatmanisagaminganimal.Hemust——alwaystryingtogetthebetterinsomethingorother——thatthispassioncanscarcelybemoresafelyexpendedthanuponagameatcards:thatcardsareatemporaryillusion;intruth,ameredrama;forwedobutplayatbeingmightilyconcerned,whereafewidleshillingsareatstake,yet,duringtheillusion,weareasmightilyconcernedasthosewhosestakeiscrownsandkingdoms.Theyareasortofdream-fighting;muchado;greatbattling,andlittlebloodshed;mightymeansfordisproportionedends;quiteasdiverting,andagreatdealmoreinnoxious,thanmanyofthosemoreseriousgamesoflife,whichmenplay,withoutesteemingthemtobesuch-

Withgreatdeferencetotheoldladysjudgmentonthesematters,IthinkIhaveexperiencedsomemomentsinmylife,whenplayingatcardsfornothinghasevenbeenagreeable.WhenIaminsickness,ornotinthebestspirits,Isometimescallforthecards,playagameatpiquetforlovewithmycousinBridget——BridgetElia.

Igrantthereissomethingsneakinginit;butwithatooth-acheorasprainedancle,——whenyouaresubduedandhumble,——youaregladtoputupwithaninferiorspringofaction,

Thereissuchathinginnature,Iamconvinced,assickwhist-

Igrantitisnotthehigheststyleofman——IdeprecatethemanesofSarahBattle——shelivesnot,alas!towhomIshouldapologise.

Atsuchtimes,thosetermswhichmyoldfriendobjectedto,einassomethingadmissible——Ilovetogetatierceoraquatorze,thoughtheymeannothing.Iamsubduedtoaninferiorinterest.Thoseshadowsofwinningamuseme.

ThatlastgameIhadwithmysweetcousin(Icapottedher)——(dareItellthee,howfoolishIam?)——Iwisheditmighthavelastedforever,thoughwegainednothing,andlostnothing,thoughitwasamereshadeofplay;Iwouldbecontenttogooninthatidlefollyforever.Thepipkinshouldbeeverboiling,thatwastopreparethegentlelenitivetomyfoot,whichBridgetwasdoomedtoapplyafterthegamewasover:and,asIdonotmuchrelishappliances,itshouldeverbubble.BridgetandIshouldbeeverplaying.